GABBY SPLENDOR

INTERESTINGLY HUMOROUS ANSWERS ON MOMS---by 2ND GRADERS

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house

.3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring

3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in theworld and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men's bones.
Then they mostly usestring, I think.

Why did God give you your mother & not some other mom?

1. We're related

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy

.3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk onbeer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goofball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind ofplastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.

2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back ofher head.

READING IS THE KEY TO EDUCATION

* "It has been said that standard education will get you jobs, but self-education will make you a fortune."----Ron White

*"The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read.---Abraham Lincoln

* "There's more treasure in books than in all the pirates loot on Treasure Island; best of all, you can enjoy these riches every day of your life."-------Walt Disney

* "I find T.V. very educative; every time somebody turn on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."--Groucho Marx

* " If past history was all there to the game, the richest people would be librarians."---Warren Buffet

* " A room without a book is like a body without a soul."--------Marcus Cicero

* " Life transforming ideas have always come to me through books."------Bell Hoods

* " Books were my pass to personal freedom; I learned to read at age three and soon discovered there was a whole world to conquor that went beyond our farm in Missisissippi."-------------Oprah Winfrey

* "It isn't what the book costs;it's what it will cost if you don't read it."---Jim Rohn

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking---{Written by a former child}

A message every adult -----especially PARENTS should read, because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

"When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking." ------ANON

Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher or friend) influences the life of a child. How will you touch the life of someone today?

THINK ABOUT IT

These are written by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words.

I've learned...
That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

That when you're in love, it shows.

That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

That being kind is more important than being right.

That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

That money doesn't buy class.

That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

That love, not time, heals all wounds.

That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

GABBY SPLENDOR

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Monday, December 20, 2010

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INTERESTINGLY HUMOROUS ANSWERS ON MOMS---by 2ND GRADERS

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When You Thought I Wasn't Looking---{Written by a former child}

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